Frustration robs us of our freedom, our decisions, and our clarity.
Face it; you can’t move forward when you are frustrated.
How can you move on?
I get frustrated when things don’t go as planned. I get frustrated when I feel people are not listening to me. I get frustrated when I am learning something new, and I just don’t get it. The danger of staying frustrated is the possibility of quitting. Below I share with you the steps I take to get out of my frustration and into that happy feeling.
It is not immediate, but it works.
Important, do not make any decisions while frustrated. And do not quit. I researched several studies on frustration, the experimental studies found in Your Article Library site posted an article about research conducted during the last 50-55 years, it helped me come up with my solution.
What resonated with me from the article was, “Moreover, unhappiness, restlessness, destructiveness and increased outgroup aggression were also marked. The findings amply showed that regression is also a possible reaction to frustration. Keister and Upclegraff’s study on children’s reaction to failure demonstrated that not only aggression and regression but also fixation, rationalization, and withdrawal are also possible reactions to frustration.” This study was performed on children, but it happens to adults also. Here is the site for your review Your Article Library.
Below you will find my five steps to get out of frustration:
Step 1 - Acknowledge and Identify
Recognize that you are frustrated before it gets out of control. Identify what brought you to this frustration. Before a task becomes unbearable identify the trigger. Always know what got you there. Stop doing what got you frustrated. If it's a project, stop and revisit when your mind is clear.
Step 2 - Breath
You realized that you are frustrated and you identified the reason. Now it’s time to take deep breaths and pay attention to your breathing. This will help you feel calmer. For example, find a comfortable place to sit. Then once you are comfortable, close your eyes and slowly take a deep breath through your nose and hold for a count of nine. Then slowly release your breath through your mouth for a count of nine. Repeat the process until you are feeling relaxed.
Step 3 - Redirect
Redirect your thoughts to something completely different preferably something that makes you feel better and positive. For example, going to the beach with friends and family. Think of a time when you were enjoying a great meal with your loved one. The purpose of this step is to get you to a better feeling place.
Step 4 - Be Grateful
Look and find things that make you feel grateful. This will help you think about other things and allow you to strip away the feeling that is bringing you down.
Step 5 - Shut Up
Shut up, do not repeat the story or situation with anyone. If it’s negative, do not bring it up ever again. Let it go. By repeating it you are bringing it back into your existence, and it becomes a never ending loop. You have the power to stop it.
In summary, these five step work. My favorite is to shut up. I have found that by not repeating a situation it dies. Try it. Hope you enjoyed it. Share it with your friends, comment below and I am looking forward to continuing this journey with you. Have a fantastic day!
Coach Barb, C.P.C
Have you shared my workbook with others? Below you have a chance to enjoy the book and share!
Link to Workbook
Which step resonated with you the most? Comment below :)